HAZRAAAT!

Thursday, November 28, 2013

لام۔گاف۔الف (LGO)، ٹوٹی سڑکیں اور پھوٹی قسمت۔۔۔ ہاۓ کراچی



عجب دن ہے آج کا صبح سے ہی محۃرمہ اہلیہ صاحبہ کے مزاج کچھ آثارِقیامت سے کم محسوس نہیں ہو رہے تھے تو ہم نےبند کمرے لمبی تان کے سونے میں ہی عافیت جانی۔۔۔۔ نیند تو بلا کی شاندار تھی مگر ساتھ ہی جاگنے کے بعد ہونے والے سلوک کا خوف بھی دل میں کہیں دور بہت دور خوب بھنگڑے ڈال رہاتھا۔۔ خیر اُسی خوف کے خوف سے آنکھ کھل ہی گئ۔۔۔ عادت سے مجبور سو کے اُٹھتے سب سے پہلے موباٴیل فون ہاتھ میں آیا اود جو پہلا بٹن دبا تو ہم جاپہنچے سیدھے تحریکِ انصاف کے دوستوں کی پسندیدە جگہ۔۔۔۔ سمجھ تو آپ حضرات گٴے ہی ہوں گے؟؟؟؟ ارے نہیں حضور آج پشاور اور خ۔پ۔خ کا زکر رکھا ہی نہیں ہےہم نے اپنے بلاگ میں اور اُسکی وجہ صرف اور صرف اپنی چرب زبان کواُن الفاظ سے دور رکھنا ہے جن میں پ۔ت۔ا (PTI) کے کچھ دوستوں کی گھر کی خواتین کا زکر کبھی کبھار آجایا کرتا ہے۔۔۔خیر تو جناب زکر تھاموباٴیل کے بٹن کا تو ہم جا پہنچے سیدھے ٹوٴیٹر (Twitter) پے اب یہاں جو منظر دیکھتے ہیں تو بس ایسا لگتا ہے کےبیوی کا خوف تو کہیں دور رە گیا اود ہر طرف بس اِک شور مچا ہےاورقریباً ہر دوسری ٹوٴیٹ (Tweet) اور ہیش ٹیگ (Hashtag) بس مذمت کر رہےہیں کسی لام۔گاف۔الف میرامطلب ہےکسی LGO نامی چیز کا۔۔۔ تفصیلات کے نہ جاننے تک تو گمان کچھ یوں ہی ہوا کہ ہماری اہلیہ محترمہ کسی طرح ہماری سب سے پُرسکون پناە گاە یعنی کے ٹوٴیٹر تک پہنچ چکی ہیں اور اب ان کے جلال سے ہمیں مردِآھن جنابِ شاہد حیات بھی نہیں بچا سکتے کیونکہ آپ جانتے ہوں یا نہ جانتے ہوں میں اِس حقیقت سے بخوبی واقف ہوں کے اِس ملک میں ٹوٴیٹر (Twitter) اور ہیش ٹیگ (Hashtag) کی وە طاقت ہے جس سےگزشتہ اگست میں ہونے والی بارشوں میں ایک سیاسی جماعت کے کچھ کارکنان گھر بیٹھے ہیش ٹیگ (Hashtag) کے زریعے کلفٹن ڈیفنس تو کُجا گلستانِ جوہر اور گلشنِ اقبال اور دور دراز علاقوں سے بھی پانی نکالتے نظر آۓ اُس پر غضب یہ کہ اُسی جماعت میں کام کرنے والے کچھ دندان ساز اپنے ان کارکنان کو اس عظیم کارنامہ پےداد دیتے پاۓ گۓ۔۔۔۔

دنیا نہ جانے کیوں ہمیں اتنا کمتر،کمزور، اور علم و ہنر سے عاری قوم سمجھتی ہےجب کے ہم تو سوشل میڈیا (Social Media) جیسی ایک فضول شہ جس پہ ہماری سرکار ہر گزرتے دن پابندی لگانے کے موقعے ڈھونڈتی ہے سے نکاسیِ آب جیسا کام گھر بیٹھے ہی کر گُزرتے ہیں اور پورا مغرب اور خلیج کے اپنے مسلمان ممالک اِس چھوٹے سے کام کے لیۓ بھاری بھرکم مشینری اور ٹیکنالوجی کےاستمعال سے باز نہیں آتے ہماری ترقی یافتہ سوچ کا عالم تو یہ ہے کےگزشتہ ہفتہ رواں ماە کی ٢٣ تاریخ کو پشاور میں ایک عظیم و الشان دھرنے کا اہتمام کیا گیا جسکا مقصد نیٹو سپلائ کی پاکستان میں بندش تھا۔۔۔۔۔ دھرنوں کے زریعے سرکار ٹاٴیپ آٴیٹمز کا دھڑن تخۃ کرنے کا سوچ رکھنے والی جماعت اور اُن کے اِتحادی کچھ جماعتی  اور شیخ صاحب پشاور میں دھرنے کے مقام پے پہنچ کے اُس وقت دنگ بلکہ دبنگ رە گۓ جب وہاں کچھ ہزار افراد کو ہی موجود پایا۔۔۔۔ اب سوال یہ تھا کے آیا اِس دھرنے کا بجٹ کم تھا یا پھر منتظمین اپنے کارکنوں یہ بتانا بھول گۓ تھے کے یہ دھرنا اصل میں پشاور میں ہے پ۔ت۔ا (PTI) کے دوستوں کی پسندیدە جگە ٹوٴیٹر (Twitter) پے نہیں اور نیٹو کے کنٹینرز بارش کا پانی نہیں جو گھر بیٹھے ہیش ٹیگز (Hashtags) کے زریعے روکے جا سکیں۔۔۔ 

خیر جناب قصہ مختصر یہ کہ جب ہم نے غور کیا تو اندازە ہوا کے یہ (LGO) مقامی حکومت سے متعلق کسی نۓ قانون کا معاملہ ہے۔۔۔ اب قانون کی سمجھ مجھ جیسے ایک کم عقل اور کم علم والے پاکستانی کوکہاں۔۔۔اگر قانون کی اتنی ہی سمجھ ہوتی تو چار دفعہ رانگ ساٴیڈ موٹر ساٴیکل چلا کے صحیح راستے آنے والے حضرات کی گاڑیوں سے نہ ہی کبھی ٹکراتا اور نہ ہی کبھی اُن حضرات سے جھگڑتا۔۔۔۔ یہ قانون تو بس اسمبلیوں میں بیٹھےکچھ حضرات اپنی روزی حلال کرنے کے لۓبنا تے ہیں اور ویسے بھی کوٴی صاحب کیا خوب فرما گۓ ہیں کہ "قانون تو بناٴے ہی جاتے ہیں توڑے جانے کےلۓ" جیسے کے ہماری سڑکیں، پُل اور انڈرپاس اب دیکھیے نا کیا حال بنا ہوا ہے اپنے اُسی کراچی کا جس پے کچھ دن پہلے تک ہی میں اور آپ کتنافخر کیا کرتے تھے۔۔۔۔ میں ایک عام شہری کی حیثیت سے نہ ہی جانتا ہوں نہ ہی جاننا چاہتا ہوں کہ LGO کِس بلا کا نام ہےمجھے تو غرض ہے تو بس اِس بات سے کہ میرے گھر تک آنے والی سڑک کب بنے گی، میرے محلے کے بہتے گٹر کب بند ہوں گے اور میرا منتخب نُماٴیندە کب سکیورٹی رسک نہیں بلکہ میری سکیورٹی کا ضامن ہوگا؟؟؟؟ مقامی حکومتوں کے انتخابات ہوں گے یا نہیں، آمریت آۓ گی یا جمہوریت رہے گی اِک عام شہری کو اِس سے فرق نہیں پڑتا اُسے تو چاہیے ہے اپنے مساٴیل کا حل جو اُسے کوئ بھی دے۔۔۔۔

آپ میں سے وە تمام لوگ جو ٨٠ کی دہائ میں اپنے ہوش و حواس میں تھے میری اِس بات سے مکمل اتفاق کریں گے کہ ایم کیو ایم (MQM) کے قاٴید جناب الطاف حسین صاحب "ہفتہِ صفائ" نامی ایک ایکٹیوٹی کیا کرتے تھے یہ سوچے بغیر کے اُن کی جماعت جسے وە ہمیشہ تحریک کہا کرتے تھے وە صوبائ حکومت کا حصہ ہے یا مقامی حکومت کا بس وە خود کھڑےہو کے اپنے کارکنوں کے ساتھ یہ شہر صاف کیاکرتے تھے مگر آج جب وہی جماعت ہیشٹیگ (Hashtag) کے زریعے LGO نامی کسی چیز کا راستہ روکنے کی کوشش اور پھر ایک پریس کانفرنس کےزریعے اِس کی مزمت کر تی تو کیا اتناکرنا ایک عام شہری کے مسا ٴیل کو حل کرنے کے لۓ کافی ہوتا ہے؟؟؟ کیا اک جماعت جس کا قاٴید الطاف حسین جیسا وژن رکھنے والا اک شخص ہو اُسے اپنے ووٹرز کے بنیادی مساٴیل سے یوں ہی غافل ہونا چاہیۓ؟؟؟ 

حضور قانون ضرور بنایۓ مگر کبھی اُس شہر اور اُس گلی کی خبر بھی لے لیجیۓ جسے کبھی آپ نے اور آپ کے بڑوں نے ہی بنایا تھا۔۔۔



Posted by irfanahmed at 2:52 PM 2 comments:
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Labels: #Pakistan #national #leadership #Original #politicians #Freedom #ILovePakistan #Military #Establishment #Karachi #KPK #MQM #nation #Pakistan #PMLN #Popular thoughts #PTI #AltafHussain #QTAH #QT

Friday, November 8, 2013

"Papa Kehtay Thay Bara Naam Karay Ga"

Disclaimer: All the characters, events appearing in this Blog are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
(Means please don't shoot me if you find me anywhere) ;)


"Papa Kehtay Thay Bara Naam Karay Ga"



I wish my parents would have been sent me to a madrasah or to a molvi rather sending me to a modern school... It's not that I fantasize "bacha baazi" I mean for God sake stop presuming... I'm not that kind of a boy... It's just that since my childhood I wanted to be known, known like a celebrity like a star... I studied I strived I struggled and my struggle was way more than an usual one because I belong to the deprived middle class of Karachi.. However to fulfill my dreams I somehow became a part of Pakistani media. I started my career as a script writer back in 2002 and then got into media production, acting, direction, media management etc etc... After spending ten years in media and serving leading media houses I produced a documentary titled "Kingdom of Women", fortunately that documentary made its way to the leading world class film festivals including Emirates Film Festival and Festival De' Cannes and I hoisted national flag in more than 10 world renowned movie festivals... Year 2012 for me was a milestone of my career and I thought representing my country on international platforms and creating a positive image of my nation would give a boost to my career but I was actually living in the "fools' paradise" which is to some extent was absolutely right and this country is nevertheless... 



So coming back to the point if my dad would had send me to a madrasah or to a molvi in the beginning in like mid 80s I would have at least become a molvi and the thirst of being famous must have driven me to the right track.. After finishing my madrasah I would have been sent to jihad because as I have heard & read that in the 80s our country was producing and introducing jihadis, so I would had participated Afghan jihad backed and funded by USA against USSR, Kashmir Jihad against India (though India is my birth place but who cares if one is getting paid well) I must have visited Palestine, Israel, USA and I might have one of those who hit the twin towers on 9/11, and if none of that then I must have been killing Pakistani citizens, policemen, soldiers, army officers, knowing my intelligence and how my mind works I must say that I must have been a mastermind of any of the biggest plots like GHQ attack, Karsaz attack or maybe I would have been the one who shot Malala... I might be the one who was leading TTP Sawat chapter or might be the one who was just killed in a drone strike by US oh sorry I meant the martyred the martyred of peace the one who killed just a few thousand innocent Pakistanis... 



If I would have been one of them then I must had been either nominated as the new Head of TTP or might have been the one who's going to be next chief... In any case I would have been dead or alive I must be as famous as lady Gaga or Justin Biebe or may be more, the whole national & international media must be running news packages on my whole life.. My childhood, my youth, my early and higher education, my family, siblings and my kids must be enjoying the limelight... I must be trending the most on the social media.. All the national leaders would have been discussing either my death or my appointment as the new chief.. All the senior journalists, columnists and analysts must have been discussing me on the TV talk shows... Any of my statement would have been a guarantee of  high ratings of the local and international media.... Wow wow wow!!! 



It means hoisting the flag of your country, portraying a better image of your nation or representing a positive Pakistan doesn't make you a wealthy famous super star but it leaves you poor, unknown and jobless... I wish my parents would had thought at that time and pushed me to the "rightist path"... 


The writer may be followed on:
Twitter: Khan_Arsalan
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com
Posted by irfanahmed at 5:06 AM No comments:
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Thursday, November 7, 2013

"From Kaafir e Azam to Shaheed e Drone"



From Kaafir e Azam to Shaheed e Drone
Neighbouring Bollywood celebrated the 100th birthday of their industry, wow what a nation they are, must have produced creative and skilled people like writers, directors, filmmakers, musicians, lyricists, actors, actresses and what not and what not... Oops sorry I'm praising a Hindu country's non-Islamic industry means for doing this I can be declared a Kaafir plus a RAW agent plus an Indianized writer (a newly introduced term) etc etc etc... Anyways so we were talking about how creative our next door neighbour is..... No don't underestimate ourselves, don't get into any kind of negativity and stop feeling like a complexed looser... We are more in fact much more creative than them... Trust me!!! Ok you won't???? You want me to make a point out of this whole argument??? Alright let's go to the flashback, come on!!! But before taking you back to your in fact our past let me tell you something really important and my whole argument of being more creative and innovative than anyone in this world will revolve around this and the thing is that people in this world produce ideas, stories, books, dramas, films and to produce all this they produce people and on the other hand we identify people individually or in the form of a group, write their stories from the beginning to the end, create a drama out of the whole story, film them and then title them... I know it's quite filmy way to make a point, I'm sorry I'm helpless, being a story writer and a filmmaker in making I have this problem, for me everything is quite filmy so let me explain you what I just meant to write...

Scene 1.
1941
Characters: All India Muslim League, Congress, Jamat e Islami, Majlis-e-Ahrar, Jamiat Ulema-e-Hind
Screenplay: All India Muslim League the construction company who constructed this country for us led by Mr. Jinnah............... No no not like that not scene by scene dialogue by dialogue... If we go frame by frame like this I'll end up writing a book not a blog so lets just recall events occurred since this country came into being in fact way before that... One more point you need to note here that Indian Film Industry came into being in 1913 and our creative and innovative skills were discovered in 1941 for the 1st time so we are decades younger than the neighbour in creating stories and producing innovative stuff... ;)

So once upon a time back in 1941 there was a man known as Maulana Abul A'la Maududi, (I hope I haven't made any spelling or punctuational mistakes while writing his name, otherwise I still have not forgotten Salman Taseer, Aasia Bibi and the Christian Teen Rimsha Masih) I hope the editor edits these lines and not let them through else I know if these lines hit any of the Maududi follower's balls oh I meant eyeballs & I will have to go through the consequences then... By the way the situation is drastically changed and now these kinds of lines don't only hurt Maududi followers but another party's workers & supporters too... I'm sorry by writing "Party" Here I didn't mean what you just interpreted.. Party means a political party, its a different story altogether that when that party's chief visited Britain during Ramzan ul Mubarak this year for some fund raiser or to meet Prince Charles we witnessed his photos having vine glass in his hands which was filled with some transparent liquid, may be water but I'm sure with none of any prohibited drinks because that guy (whose name I can't even write here because I'm not a writer of that caliber who can even think about writing the name of a great leader like him) heads a "Rightist Fundamental Revolutionary kind of a Political Party"... However will discuss the connection of these two parties some other time let's stick to the topic so in 1941 when the Pakistan movement was on peak and Mr. Jinnah & his All India Muslim League was busy struggling day and night to fetch a country, a group suddenly got formed in the leadership of Maulana Abul A'la Maududi and that group was named as Jamat e Islami... Jamat e Islami at that time was having serious differences with Mr. Jinnah & co. I won't get into those details that what were the differences because I don't want to bore you and want this article to ne as entertaining as it should be... So the entertaining fact is that  for the 1st time Maududi came up with his brilliant creative skills and he introduced a new fashion to the world of declaring Muslims either "non-Muslims, Kaafir or the Great Infidel" so to weaken Jinnah's effort to get a separate country the muslims outside AIML and supporters of three major religious groups Majlis-e-Ahrar, Jamiat Ulema-e-Hind and Jamat e Islami started calling Mr. Jinnah "Kaafir e Azam or the Great Infidel"... On the other hand AIML was actually representing or supported by all Shias, Sunnis, Ahmedi's Christians etc etc and this is one of the reasons why these three groups were upto AIML on the contrary the two groups Majlis e Ahrar and Jamiat e Ulema e Hind was backed by Congress and the anti Pakistan Muslims and the alliance of these three groups never wanted Pakistan to be created the way it happened, so Mr. Maududi initiated this tradition of declaring their political opponents Kaafirs or whatever they want and in that political tug of war he and his Jamat e Islami even didn't spare Quaid e Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah the founder of world's 1st Islamic State which came into being in the name of Islam based on Iqbal's two nation theory, the worst part was that to settle their personal political scores with Jinnah Jamat e Islami went to the extend to get help from Congress and of course declared a man Kaafir e Azam through a campaign backed and funded by the Congress... No wonder only Jamat e Islami and their allies could do that... So this trend started from there and it's still an on going process I still see a political party's supporters tweeting about trending I'm sure there must be some serious connection between these two parties one initiated a trend in 1941 and the other one is keeping the trend alive by carrying the trend forward on twitter as well in real life...

So the creativity & innovation which began long ago was carried forward by the 2nd and 3rd generations of Maududi followers.. Jamat e Islami must have decided in the very beginning that they will never disappoint and let down their ancestors and the mission Maulana Abul A'la Maududi started will be followed and accomplished, the true followers of Maududi must have committed to themselves that being the next generation they will keep identifying the true followers of Mr. Jinnah, write their stories from the beginning to the end, create a drama out of the whole story, film them and then title them... Title them as Kaafir, Blasphemer, RAW, KGB, Mossad and CIA agents no matter that true follower of Jinnah is named Benazir Bhutto, Altaf Hussain, Salman Taseer, Shahbaz Bhatti, Najam Sethi, Sana Bucha, Marvi Sirmed, You or me.... The list of these agents these Kaafirs are too long to be fit in here... 

I'm sure Maulana Abul A'la Maududi wherever he is must be looking at us, smiling from there and teasing Jinnah that see my followers are still after yours, the trend I started my followers and their allies are still following it, one of them sitting on TV screaming day and night declaring some people CIA & RAW agents and look at rest if my followers and their allies they are trending the trend I started from you Mr. Jinnah and the trends is touching the heights... Look at my other followers Mr. Jinnah, they are speaking my heart out and declaring  "Shaheed e Drone" one of the murderer, killer of your 50,000 followers and my other followers and their allies are again trending this and the level of this trend is way beyond you can even think Mr. Jinnah... 

You thought you conquered this battle and defeated me in 1947... No, no way!!!

Disclaimer: All the characters, events appearing in this Blog are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental.
(Means please don't shoot me if you find me anywhere) ;)
Twitter: Khan_Arsalan
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com
Posted by irfanahmed at 6:54 AM No comments:
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Labels: #KaafirEAzam #Jinnah #AIML #Pakistan #JamatEIslami #RAW #CIA #AltafHussain #NajamSethi #MarviSirmed #India #Agent #Blasphemer #Twitter #Trending #Creative #Innovative

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Six and the City


The " Six and the CITY"
From the Heart of a Karachiite!

PM Noon Sharif & Co. arrived KHI yesterday to address #KhiLawAndOrder issue, by the way "the law" was all here throughout the last week to address the same and they passed some "orders" too so I guessed law and order both were addressed but when PM Noon announced his visit to KHI I realized ke "daal mein kuch kala hai" but suddenly I recalled a story one of my friends from Lahore told me last year that Noon Shareef Saab doesn't like daals and he's more into payas, kunnas, niharis, naans etc etc...

Anyways yesterday the whole media kept showing the footages of PM Noon's meeting at Governor House KHI, I saw six prominent personalities those who were part of all the sessions.. PM Noon Saab, Daakhla Saab, Ittelaat Saab, Khazana Saab, CM Chacha and one & only longest serving Governor of the history Doctor Saab... Amazingly four out of these six gents belong to Punjab, CM Chacha represents the rural Sindh and only Doctor Saab belongs to KHI... All these guys are there to find out the solution of Masla e Karachi... If you look at the ratio only less than 20% representation Karachi could get in the decision making team... From the political perspective MQM claims 85% representation from KHI and its a proven fact but again MQM is not called for the cabinet meeting going to be held today, in fact MQM representative's invitation was called off in the last moments...

Technically and constitutionally Doctor Saab cannot represent any political party being Governor of the province, so I think I should consider zero representation from the biggest stakeholder's camp, plus I have not seen Doctor Saab playing any active role as an MQMist for a quite a while and may be that's the reason PM Noon Saab & Co. is more comfortable working with him instead of any active MQM leader... May be may be may be...

Anyways Hazraaat  is neither a journalist nor an analyst so Hazraaat should better be away from the political matters of this sort, kion ke Hazraaat ko bhi apni jaan piyari hai in fact bohat hi piyari hai... ;)

A few things which bug me a lot that whenever any senior official visits Karachi to address law and order situation specifically, the mischiefs act more actively and the death toll gets increased than usual during such visits... It's quite a challenging act for our law enforcement agencies and let's see how they take care of this situation... Secondly PM Noon Saab has assigned CM Chacha this task and the CM Chacha will lead the operation as captain, according to Dakhla Saab.. I was just wondering if the same CM could to do anything in last 5 years while his own party was in power in central too what difference would he make now??? I mean why this much of trust on someone who has already failed many times??? Why PM Noon is trusting a CM whose own boss (sadar Saab) hasn't shown this much of trust in last five years and not assigned any such task to him??? Daal mein kuch tou kala hai boss, it's not as simple as everyone including the media is trying to portray.... 


However I hope this time both the provincial and federal govts will take some serious measures and the conclusion of all these meetings would not revolve around some popular thoughts and  statements... Honestly speaking PM Noon Saab is looking miserably worried and concerned since he's in KHI, may Allah help him coping up the situation and bless us Karachiites with peace and harmony.. 

Twitter: @hazraaat
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com

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Tuesday, August 27, 2013

HAZRAAAT PHOTOMANIA 01












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Thursday, August 22, 2013

"Bye By-Elections" Yeh Election Tha 13


noon, Ju-noon, QAnoon or AFTERnoon I don't know if there's anything in this country which doesn't have a " noon, " From our PM Saab to Dakhla Saab to the General Saab to Khan Saab to Janab e BlueArea champ Sikandar Saab  and the ASP ISB Rizwan Saab, everyone has a noon That's another question that it's after-noon, or before noon, but whatever the case is, it seems having a noon, is essential in this country... From Election and Commission to Intekhaabaat to Intekhaabi Nishaan to Polling to Nataayej to Dhaandhli again everything has noon, That's wonderful, isn't it??? ;)

So let's admit that noon, is the most used letter of urdu alphabets in our national politics the only words Army or Military doesn't have a " noon, " in it... And I think that's the reason Army has decided not to interfere (openly) in the political process anymore ;) however still there are some political forces, those who see Army's role in the political process...

During the By-Election campaign we witnessed some fiery hot speeches from Khan Saab and Maulana Saab... Khan Saab's campaign was very well planned as usual.. Right one day before the By-Elections he released the white paper... I heard its a 2000+ paged document, if he would have named it "White Book" instead of white paper there were chances of being best bookseller of the year... The launch presser of the "White Book" by Khan Saab was also very impressive and the timing was amazing... And the after party of the launch on Geo News with Hamid Mir was also really very well executed... However nothing could make any difference and we saw some major upsets especially in Peshawar and Khan Saab's hometown Mianwaali...

I'm really depressed because I won't be able to go to Teen Talwaar with my friends to spend some quality time with some quality people... I won't be able to have a dharna picnic this time right after the election results because Khan Saab won't be able to put rigging allegations on MQM because in the By-Elections MQM hasn't beaten them, in fact ANP took charge of PTI this time so my quality dharna scene is screwed completely just because of ANP's interference...

Or may be Khan Saab would come up with some new idea like the armymen deployed in the polling booths were MQM's workers or they were actually putting thappas on the ballot papers or he would probably say that all the MQM workers went to Peshawar to cast their votes against his party and my dharna scene in KHI gets ON... I wish!!!

Jo bhi tha this election fever was amazing and the major part was played by Khan Saab and company... What an entertaining team they are!!!

All is well what ends well.. I would like to thanks all the cast and crew of Election 13 because "yeh election tha 13"..
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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Breaking News ki shaandaar kaamiyabi ke baad ab paish hai "Breaking Blog"

Breaking News ki shaandaar kaamiyabi ke baad ab paish hai "Breaking Blog"

Concluding Episode of Bol Geo Bol
(Hum Bol-ay ga tou Bol-o gey ke Bol-ta hai)

Just to refresh your memories I'm copying a paragraph of my blog published a couple of days back... 

"Gossip #2: Mr. Azhar Abbas the Managing Director Geo News is on leave from the first week of July and to be precise from July 2, 2013.. He was supposed to fly for his annual leaves with his family on the 10th of July but he didn't... Some people say he stayed because he never had a plan to go abroad for vacations this year and had to join Bol Network during his leaves and some people say he never was on the leave he has simply resigned and stopped coming to work from first week of july... Hazraaat's source at Geo told me that the day his leaves were started that was the day the management was told that he'll not come back or rejoin his office...  But then Mir Ibrahim Rahman requested him to please come back and he joined office for a couple days after July 10, 2013... I was also told that MIR met Azhar Abbas a couple of weeks back at hotel in KHI but the negotiations could not get to any conclusion... And Mr. Abbas is most likely joining Bol Network right after eid holidays.."

And now the concluding part!!!

"Dear Team Geo,

I write this email with a heavy heart. A heavy heart because I have come to conclusion that there is only so much that I can do for all of you, while working here.
It is only due to you that we realised the dream of making Geo the premier news channel of the country.
Any leader in my position would struggle to count their blessings. It was a rare and distinctive privilege to lead a team with such creativity, professionalism and commitment. ??...
As you extended unflinching support to me, I assure you I was equally committed to your professional excellence and better working conditions. I acknowledge I may not have been able to deliver all I wanted. But, I am sure, this will remain an ongoing process and soon you will work under better terms and conditions.??
And now for the most difficult bit: I have decided to leave and pursue other career options.
I have faith in your ability and I am sure GeoNews's quality and place in the market will remain unaltered. No matter what you do make sure your commitment to excellence remains singular and Geo will continue to fly.
A part of me will always remain here. But I am taking with me the desire to build an organisation that not only excels in journalism but also offers better working conditions for journalists.
I wish Geo and each one of you the best of luck. I will not even try and thank you for all your hard work and support for words fail me.??
Love and Regards?
Yours??
Azhar Abbas"

Abb Takk ke liye itna hi... Dekhtay rahiye Geo News 

Twitter: @hazraaat
Gmail: arsalankhan.khu@gmail.com
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Wednesday, August 14, 2013

"Long Live India" by - A Green Indian


(From my Independence Day to Our Freedom)


The distance between 14th & 15th August is just ONE second but this only moment makes huge differences.. You know just because 14 comes before 15 and that's difference which privileged Pakistan to be older than the neighbor.. These two countries came into being in late forties and within 25 years of this divide a third country suddenly, accidently or politically popped out.. Since my school days my geography & history are weak and as much as I know myself I'm neither an analyst nor an expert so I'll not get into the details.. I'll just write a few lines from a common citizen's point of view..

So to begin with: when I look at both India and Pakistan, I have no clue which one I should own and which one I shouldn't.. It feels like I have two mothers, one who gave me birth and the other one who raised and brought me up.. I'm a born Indian, my parents migrated to Pakistan when I was 3 and I'm all grown up in Pakistan so I feel like calling myself "A Green Indian".. I know millions like me live across the borders.. The word "border" reminds me some glimpses of those moments when I along with my parents & elder brother was crossing the Wahga Border.. There are just a few blur images I could hardly recall, my parents carrying some hand bags and I guess one suitcase walking or almost running from Wahga to Lahore.. That patch which we crossed on feet I could never forget.. I still remember I was crying and screaming in fact begging my father to pick me up because I was unable to walk anymore and my poor father couldn't pick me up because he was carrying all the luggage, I was holding my dad's trouser and he was just dragging me somehow.. I guess there was some time limit or something, we had to enter Lahore within some given time frame or I don't know.. Just imagine all this from a 3 years old point of view.. And trust me I'm not talking about 1947 or any post division era, this happened to us sometimes in early 80s..

So from 3 to my 30s I'm still trying to figure that if we are neighbors then why this much hatred between two members of ONE family those who used to live together a few decades back... The other thing which I cannot understand is that if this much of hatred is there between the two nations then why all Indian movies go house full in Pakistan and why without Rahat Fateh Ali Khan and Atif Aslam any bollywood movie seems incomplete??? I think I should conclude it this way that love between the people live across borders is natural and hatred is engineered and its totally artificial..

Now the question is who will engineer this attitude between the nations??? And why??? The answer is quite simple and straight, the one who's the biggest beneficiary of having an enemy on the other side.. "Military"??? Yes of course, who else!!!

Okay so now the point is, are both the armies getting benefited for having enemies across the borders??? You decide yourself, I'm just sharing some facts with you..

Strategically for Pakistan Army or Military Establishment this is truly not advisable to have more enemies than the capacity of handling them at least at this point in time.. Pakistan is going through serious security challenges, from Balochistan to Karachi and from Western Borders to Kashmir.. War on terror has almost sucked our nation, at this moment at least Pakistan Army with 617,000 active & 513,000 reserve and 304,000 active paramilitary troops can't be benefited by having India as an addition to their enemy's list, on the other hand if we just have a look of Indian Army & Paramilitary active and reserve troops and analyze their border situation I think maintaining Pakistan as their enemy benefits Indian Army the most..

Indian Army is one of the largest armies in the world, with 1,129,900 active troops and 960,000 reserve troops.. 1,300,586 Active Paramilitary Troops & 987,821 is the count of the reserved paramilitary troops.. Geographical position of India is kind of an ideal.. At one side they have got Nepal which is in very good terms with India, Sri Lanka is there which is again not an evil for India, Bangladesh seems really under influenced by the Indians, India is not going through any war on terror nor any of the Nato aircraft flying over them or from their soil to touch Afghanistan.. So they are just left with Pakistan the only country which is not in good terms with them or involved in some alleged insurgency in India or Indian Held Kashmir..


The strange thing is that whenever any of the Pakistani govt starts serious efforts for the betterment of the relationship between the two, suddenly something goes wrong and the peace process goes into the gutter.. Doesn't it show the seriousness of the biggest beneficiary of the whole situation???

Don't believe what I wrote but just give it a thought..


This is just a brief comparison from a common Pakistani's perspective or a Green Indian because I know before 1947 we were all Indians the only difference I see this partition could make is defined two colors of Indians One is Green and the other one is Indian Saffron..

Happy Independence Day from Green Indians to Saffron Indians!!
"Long Live India"

Disclaimer: this blog is not funded but the writer would never mind if anyone wants to fund him.. Cash, Credit Cards and Cross Cheques will be accepted.. :)

Twitter: @hazraaat
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com
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Tuesday, August 13, 2013

"Brand New Pakistan" (Made in China)

On the same date in 1947 we got a "Brand New Country" named Pakistan.. Now in the 66th year of independence during general elections campaign we heard a brand new name of this country "Naya Pakistan"... The construction company build this country used to be known as "All India Muslim League" once Pakistan came into being AIML transformed into Pakistan Muslim League (PML) and from that day to date we have now many branches of PML..

From A to Z hardly any of the "alphabetical letter" could resist the lucrative offers given by the "caretakers" of PML (in all eras).. That's the reason, every year we hear a new or a few more PML(s), one thing is really common among all the PML(s) that they all have very strong roots in Pindi & the moment any of them (PMLs) starts trying to loosen their ties from the roots the roots themselves take action and form a new one without any hesitation because in english alphabets we have a limitation of 26 letters not in Urdu, and urdu is the national language, even if the makers of a new PML every year will start facing any difficulty they can even seek help from the Arabic Alphabets.. By the way Arabs have no issues in helping us or the Pindi walas in any situation you know (muslim brotherhood) ;)

However people who actually constructed this country couldn't get enough time to built a nation or may be we are least interested in behaving like a nation... I have seen different people talking on the TV channels pointing out different problems behind all the messed up situation of Pakistan.. The only problem I hear the most from different people is "lack of leadership" but what I understood is "lack of originality".. Leadership is something which we have got, good or bad is a different debate but we need to have an "original leadership", the real one..

We are one amazing nation who has got a lot of natural resources and natural talent.. Natural resources are being neglected but the natural talent has been picked by the leading TV channels.. Natural talent of being the best duplicates could be sold to this nation so easily in fact beautifully.. I still remember when I was younger, one of my father's friend was known to be the best duplicate of bollywood legendary actor Mr. Amitabh Bachan.. Don't start scratching your heads, his name was Izhar Qazi and he gave few hits to lollywood.. From Izhar uncle to recent times' duplicate Shahrukh Khans, Salman Khans, Kareena Kapoors, Angelina Julies and Tom Cruise and a lot others, this nation values the natural talent of being duplicates..

Besides copying bollywood/ hollywood stars I know a few people who duplicates some of the Star Current Affairs anchors of the country, not only their style or way of talk, they even copied their show sets, look and feel, packaging & their show formats.. But copying is not a big problem appreciating it is the bigger problem, surprisingly in this country copy sells originality does not..


So the buyers are more responsible than the manufacturers.. And the end user gives a damn to originality.. So by discouraging originality we are slaughtering the creative sense of the nation and that's the reason we have become a group of copy cats.. From our aptitude to our attitude almost everything is a copy or closed to the best copy.. "Copying" should be declared our "National Style"..

So from anyone to everyone is copying someone in their own capacity but the only breed I have seen not copying anybody is our politicians.. I think that's the reason the economic & social situation of the country is this worst..


In this age of technological revolution where almost everything is "Made in China" and available from all small town shops to the huge malls the only thing I have not seen written "Made in China" on is the name of this country "Pakistan".. So the originality is left only with the name of our country so please stop playing with it by adding naya, purana, acha bura...At least Let it be!!! original because "Originality is your Identity", so Be Original and take the pride..

Happy Independence Day, Celebrate the Freedom!! :)


Disclaimer: The idea of this write up is original and that's the reason the writer is jobless because he always tries to sell originality.. Sad!!!

Twitter: @hazraaat
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com
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Monday, August 12, 2013

Bol Geo Bol (Aapas ki Baat) by: Hazraaat!

Today's blog is based on true gossips and my Gulabi Angraizi... Enjoyyyyyyyy!!! 

To begin with: Gossip #1, King Khan was on vacations and the rumour about his resignation was on the peak... According to Hazraaat's source at Geo the Chairman of Jang Group "traced" Mr. Khan in the first place and the moment he got to know that Mr. Khan is in UK he flew to UK and met him there... The negotiations took place there and from there Mr. Shakeel ur Rahman (MSR) called their guys at Geo News to publish an add on Monday's Newspaper and the tag line suggested was "Aaj Kamran Khan ke saath aik baar phir Geo News pe"... 

Gossip #2: Mr. Azhar Abbas the Managing Director Geo News is on leave from the first week of July and to be precise from July 2, 2013.. He was supposed to fly for his annual leaves with his family on the 10th of July but he didn't... Some people say he stayed because he never had a plan to go abroad for vacations this year and had to join Bol Network during his leaves and some people say he never was on the leave he has simply resigned and stopped coming to work from first week of july... Hazraaat's source at Geo told me that the day his leaves were started that was the day the management was told that he'll not come back or rejoin his office...  But then Mir Ibrahim Rahman requested him to please come back and he joined office for a couple days after July 10, 2013... I was also told that MIR met Azhar Abbas a couple of weeks back at hotel in KHI but the negotiations could not get to any conclusion... And Mr. Abbas is most likely joining Bol Network right after eid holidays..

Gossip #3: Mr. Ansar Naqvi the Controller Input Geo News resigned a couple of days before eid... Mr. Ansar Naqvi used to be the number 2 of the channel and has been associated with Jang Group for 20+ years... His resignation is based on some statement or comment passed by Dr. Aamir Liaqat Hussain regarding the employees of Geo... Mr. Naqvi was the one who managed everything at Geo News while Mr. Azhar Abbas left Geo for the 1st time and joined Dawn in December 2006... Ansar Naqvi was one of the Azhar loyalist at that time but he never went to Dawn News and stayed back at Geo... Now the question is that is Mr. Naqvi also going with Mr. Azhar Abbas or he just threw his resignation to gage his position in post Azhar scenario??? But according to Hazraaat's source at Geo, management has not shown any interest in talking to Mr. Naqvi regarding his resignation... Which again creates some question marks in my mind... But the next bit of this write up would give you some new directions...

So the Gossip #4: on the 27th Ramzan which was August 6, 2013 a group of KHI Bureau reporters gathered at the 5th floor of Jang Building (which is known as Geo corporate floor) in front of Director HR Mr. Zulfiqar Ali's cabin and Mr. Faysal Aziz Khan Bureau Head KHI addressed his team in the presence of almost all the directors (in their cabins) of the network... The issue was the delayed salaries of the employees... The protest lasted for a few minutes and then after Mr. Khan's speech the crowd dispersed calmly... The issue which Mr. Khan had to take up was pending appraisals but Mr. Khan just discussed and kept his speech salaries focused which raised a few questions in his team mates' mind... However all the people work for Geo they know that salaries always get transferred before eid no matter what plus Mr. Khan is been associated with Geo News for more than ten years and must be knowing this like all others... Then what was the point after going to the 5th floor and  deliver a speech which was not needed??? Okay and then after a couple of hours he announced that the he just got a call from the top management and the salaries will be transferred by the chaand raat... Now what Hazraaat understood is that management is actually wanting Mr. Khan to take over as Director News Geo News in post Azhar scenario and that's the reason no one from the top management shown any interest in talking to Mr. Ansar Naqvi... And that's the reason the management provided a chance to Mr. Khan to show his strength to his team... Plus there was another news of Faysal Aziz Khan's resignation on the 28th Ramzan but that was also a false and planted news as Mr. Khan was appeared live in Dr. Aamir Liaqat's iftaar transmission the very next day of his resignation on the 29th of Ramzan... And there were no "bulk resignations" from either KHI Bureau or any other dept of Geo News!!!

However in this scenario Geo News Management should never ignore the services & loyalties of Mr. Ansar Naqvi though Mr. Khan suites the Director News position and according to Hazraaat's sources at Geo the lobbying is all done for Mr. Khan... In post Azhar scenario at Geo News Mr. Muaaz Ahsan Director Programs Geo News is the only candidate left to take over the whole channel as Managing Director if everything goes on merit.. He has got few years of content management and productions experience.. He's a great media strategist and one of the best Brand Managers of the industry.... 

No idea what's going to happen next but if you really want to get the answers to your questions then you all have to scream with me "Bol Geo Bol"... 


Disclaimer: The writer is simply a Gossips Making Entity and not a News Breaking Company... So don't trust the information you have just gone through... Thanks you for your time!!! ;)

Twitter: @hazraaat
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com

Posted by irfanahmed at 1:45 AM 1 comment:
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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

"The National Zero" (Full Time Non-Political)


Like every other nation we also have our national anthem, national game, national bird, national flower etc etc... But I have never heard of a "National Digit"... May be there's one but I have no clue about it and even if there's already one I would request the authorities to please change it on my request as I have a standing in the country with 500+ FB friends and 200+ twitter followers... I know as a matter of fact that having fan following over social media strengthen the belief of an individual (not a common one a "General" one) to that extend that he decides to come back to his country after 5 years of self exile knowing he could be tried in various cases (including some Article Sex) but the power of social media brought him back.... Okay, does it mean that our social media is more powerful, stronger & well connected than Interpol??? I hope you got me!!! :) 

Anyways as mentioned above it's a full time non political write up & I promise any political personality or event will not be discussed today... So! What should be our National Digit??? I would suggest it should be a "Zero"... Why Zero??? That's the biggest question... Of course because Zero is the most powerful digit, the only problem is to know the right placement of a Zero... And whoever knows the right placement of a Zero is the King... No no not King Khan the real King!!! And trust me by King Khan I didn't mean Imran Khan I meant the other one the Bollywood one... By the way I can bet if Mr. Imran Khan would have gone to Bollywood after retiring his Cricket Career instead of taking part in the practical politics of the country, he must be more successful than how he is at the moment but you know I believe putting a Zero at the right place is an art and Imran Khan used to be a cricketer not an artist and a cricketer can only be a politician in this country.. Mr. Prime Minister is the biggest example for us and for the rest of the cricketers out there playing night cricket during the Holy Month of Ramzan... 

Not only night cricket, night football matches are also being held in Ramzan, especially in a particular area of KHI called Liyari... Last night I couldn't complete my blog after getting the shocking news of a bomb attack on a PPP MPA Javed Nagori during a night football match... Bomb attacks occur in our surroundings every other day but There was something unusual about this incident which dragged me into a deep thought... I think the kids got killed in the incident were the Centre of attention of my thoughts and the other question which was popping up in my head was how come the main target hasn't got even a scratch on his body... The attack was planned and executed very professionally but I'm sure the attackers were not professionals or may be they were instructed not to kill the main man... Anyways whatever the objective was I'm sure it was achieved and the message delivered and taken by both the parties.. 

However lets not deviate from the subject line, so I'm sure we are the best people to deal with the "Zeros" it's been more than six decades and we have been placing the Zeros here, there and everywhere, sometime it works but most of the times it doesn't.. We are surrounded by Zeros.. Almost all kind of Zeros we have got and the best part is for them we are the Zeros... Now the point is which Zero has more value??? Of course the one which has got the right placement and I know they have got the right placement & that's the reason they are more valuable than us... And yes only they know the right use of a Zero no matter who they are, a politician, a bureaucrat, a journalist, a cricketer, an army man, a judge or whatever... Now you decide who should be our "National Zero"... 

Disclaimer: The writer is fully & completely politically biased towards the political system and political people...

Twitter: Khan_Arsalan
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com
Posted by irfanahmed at 8:02 AM No comments:
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Monday, August 5, 2013

The Aunty Drown Policy alias Anti Drone Policy


"Happy Independence Day according to Islamic Calendar" is one of the tweets circulating on social media tonight, three out of every 5 twitter/ FB users are putting this line on, so according to this Pakistan came in to being on the August 14, 1947 which was 27th of Ramzan of that Islamic year..

I have been listening to this "fact" for years in fact from my childhood, I think from mid 80s to be very specific.. Those were the days when the State TV was everything and I would say our parents, uncles, aunties, daadis, naanis and elders from the mohallas used to be our "social media" (source of knowledge).. Being a middle class kid I have never had any such sources to research about the facts of this sort but now, this is 2013, the era of social media, the age of free and independent media, the age of computers, smart phones, tabs and iPads, means we have got everything & if we want to dig out something to get to the facts we can.. Very easily.. Right??? So my question is, how many of us know exactly the background of this "independence day according to Islamic calendar"??? By writing all this here I don't want to create any controversy but the point I would like to make out of all this is "being a nation are we really serious"about finding out the facts, about knowing what's right and what wrong, about getting into details to find the right way and about educating our generations???? I know getting a real affirmative answer would be a task for me, why because action speaks louder than words.. What a nation we are, what a nation... 

We are one proud nation who has got atomic power but do we have enough number of schools to educate our kids?? Do bombs built nations??? We are one great nation who has got a Doctorate degree in google-ogy but I don't think we have read just one book completely "the Holy Quran", reciting the Arabic version doesn't serve the purpose understanding of the real teachings is important & for that matter we have to understand what's all written there... What kind of people we are... We know nothing about ourselves but we are always ready to point a fingers on others... 

The ironic part is the kind of political leadership this poor nation has got... They talk about hitting the Drones but have no clue how to save half of the drowning KPK, the other one claims to knockout terrorism, extortion, land grabbing and kidnapping for ransom from the biggest city of the country but failed to save an innocent family in a drowning car... Really unfortunate!!! What kind of place we live in, what kind of people we deal with... Sad!

Popular thoughts are good to be discussed in the talk shows but ground realities are entirely different.. The aunty party or the anti party both should now separate the popular thoughts and the ground realities.. They should keep the popular thoughts apart for TV talk shows only and own the people who voted for them or not and should be on ground equally in all areas in any such disastrous situation when nation needs them the most..

In my opinion this Anti Drone thought by the Aunty party is not suitable for the drowning nation.. The aunty party and their anti party both Should sit and join hands for the welfare of the people of pakistan......

"Drone maarnay ke liye zindagi parii hai yaar.."


     (The disclaimer is the same) ;)
Posted by irfanahmed at 5:44 PM No comments:
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Labels: 1947, 27th of Ramzan, August 14, Drone, Happy Independence Day, Karachi, KPK, MQM, nation, Pakistan, PMLN, Popular thoughts, PTI, TV

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Effectiveness of #Hashtags from "Tukka Lagao Musalmano to Sharamnaak"

Effectiveness of #Hashtags

From "Tukka Lagao Musalmano to Sharamnaak"

This Ramzan oh sorry I meant Ramadan is one of the unforgettable Ramadans of my life and the reason is really simple. The month took off with a slogan "tukka lagao musalmano" by the one & only Dr. Aamir Liaqat and hopefully will be ending up with the most popular hashtag so far " #Sharamnaak ". I hope almost everyone of you must know what #Sharamnaak is. And in case if you don't know this, anyone from a newly born political party would stand up with a constipated face and tell you with a #Hashtag how #Sharamnaak your this act is. 
Over this weekend the #Karachiites experienced #RimJhimSawan  and as a matter of fact half of the social media users from #Karachi were sleeping till the afternoon after having our sehri (at least I was) and suddenly when we woke up half of the city was drowned. We all were left with no other option but to engage ourselves on twitter or FB at least till the iftaar. 

Well I was in an impression that we have got some #Administration some #Governmental institutions to take care of the city who contributes 70% in the country's economy & 93% on the provincial level, but I forgot one thing that both the #RullingParties in #Islamabad & #Sindh have got lowest stakes in the city. However apart from #Politics this #Rain is an #EyeOpener for everyone from the #Administration to a common #CitizensOfKarachi that this is the high time for the #Administration to take proper #Measures and for the #CitizensOfKarachi to think what they should do with their #Votes. People who just appear on the #SocialMedia, claim a lot to do for this city and we just see them screaming with a #Hashtag on twitter are the #RightPeople to #Vote or those who serve the city with great sincerity are the right ones to elect. Over this weekend I have seen many #Hashtags but some most popular ones are here for your attention. #RainEffect #KHINeedsMustafaKamal #WeMissMustafaKamal #Sharamnaak #KHIUpdates #MissingMustafaKamal #SharamnaakAfraad #BoycottPTIForever #RespectMustafaKamal etc etc (the Hashtags mentioned here are related to KHI). Above all political affiliations, if #PTI claims to be the most popular party of the country just because of having presence on #SocialMedia then I think #SindhGovt should accept MQM Chief Altaf Hussain's suggestion to appoint Mr. Mustafa Kamal as the interim Mayor of #Karachi because seven out of ten #Hashtags are in the favour of this demand. I don't think the #Hashtags should decide the #FateOfNation. #PTI has got amazing presence on #SocialMedia but that doesn't mean that the party who has got it's roots in the public should be disgraced on any medium with or without a #Hashtag.

Disclaimer: The writer doesn't have any political affiliation and is mentally prepare for any kind of troll on #SocialMedia. :)



AK
Twitter: @Khan_Arsalan 
Gmail: arsalankhan.khi@gmail.com

Posted by irfanahmed at 4:16 PM 4 comments:
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Labels: #Hazraaat #Administration #RainEffect #KHINeedsMustafaKamal #WeMissMustafaKamal #Sharamnaak #KHIUpdates #MissingMustafaKamal #SharamnaakAfraad #BoycottPTIForever #RespectMustafaKamal #PTI
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